Kingdom Rents
by Sargent Snarky
Summary: [Challenge 28] What if RENT were one of the worlds Sora goes to during Kingdom Hearts? [AU Crossover]


**Title**: Kingdom Rents

**Rating**: PG

**Genre**: Humor / Parody (More silliness than anything.

**Summary**: Challenge 28 What if RENT were one of the worlds Sora goes to during Kingdom Hearts? AU Crossover

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rent. I merely borrow… indefinitely. And, I also don't own the Kingdom Hearts franchise.

**A/N**: The Challenge is thus: "The Challenge for this is simple: create an AU that has never been done before, or at least you believe that it has never been done before."

The AU I decided is this: RENT is one of the worlds Sora visits in Kingdom Hearts. Ok, ok… So this is also a crossover fic, but nowhere in the challenge does it say that this can't be a crossover. So there.

And… This is a fic of complete and utter silliness. I know the writing quality isn't the greatest, but it isn't meant to be. Do enjoy!

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STORY

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1 – The First Heartless

Mark was wandering down the street when suddenly, two yellow pinpricks gleamed in an adjacent alleyway, and out popped a small black twitchy creature thing that swayed back and forth and appeared to be made entirely of shadows. Mark, of course, immediately broke out the camera and began filming the thing… And kept right on filming it, even as the creature shuffled across the sidewalk towards Benny and launched itself at him, but then stopped, blinking. And then, the critter bowed to Benny, who arched an eyebrow at it and blinked, too.

Benny shrugged, then, and kept right on walking, heading for his Range Rover; he'd been checking something with the apartment building and now was on his way home to Alison. The creature followed him. Mark followed the creature. Although, while the creature was able to latch onto the car, Mark had no such ability, so he merely watched them drive away.

2 – More New Arrivals

"I'm tellin' you, there's no point in being here! It's just like that jungle planet," complained a talking duck, who was standing, arms crossed and bill turned down in his best attempt at a frown. "King Mickey would _never_ come to such a dingy, smelly world. And I'm pretty certain your friends wouldn't, either."

"But Donald!" argued a much taller (relative to the duck, that is) boy with insanely spiky and fluffy brown hair (which stayed up WITHOUT the assistance of hair gel) , who stood alongside said duck. "What if they did? We're here, now, so let's look around!"

"Gawrsh, Sora and Donald," spoke an even taller talking dog of rather dopey expression, who stood on his hind legs, grinning goofily at the pair of them. "You two sure like t'argue. But, what if there's Heartless around? Shouldn't we at least seal this world up, ga-hilt?"

Meanwhile, Mark, having resumed his journey home, picked his lower jaw off the pavement and reattached it, shaking his head, rubbing his eyes and hurrying away, praying that those three hadn't been real and that Roger'd just slipped some LSD into his morning tea or something.

3 – Angel Joins The Party

Sora, Donald and Goofy were walking along Avenue A when they espied a youngish transvestite, wielding a 10-gallon plastic pickle tub and a pair of drum sticks as he (she?) defended himself (herself?) from a small circle of Shadow Heartless.

"Come on, guys! She needs our help," exclaimed Sora, who was ignorant of the fact that 'she' was actually a guy, but… Sora wasn't picked for brains, you know. (If brains'd been the deciding factor, then Riku'd've been the Keyblade Master.)

So, Sora, Donald and Goofy rushed forward and helped the youngish transvestite in eliminating the Heartless.

When this was done, the transvestite grinned. "Thanks for the help! I'm Angel."

"No problem, miss!" said Sora, grinning back and resting his keyblade on his shoulder. "If you need any other help, let us know! I'm Sora; this is Goofy and Donald."

"Actually… I'm running kind of late to a Life Support meeting. Would you mind accompanying me, just in case we run into any more of those… thingies?"

4 – The Boss Battle

As the party of four was strolling towards the subway station, Benny popped up again, dropping out of the sky onto the sidewalk in front of them for no apparent reason. "Rent, mi amigo, is due!" he proclaimed to Angel (who also lived in one of the apartment buildings Benny'd bough).

"Umm…" began Angel.

However, she was cut off by an insane laugh from Benny. "But you can't pay, can you? No matter… my Heartless will exact a proper toll from you! BUAHAHAH!"

Angel blinked, rather confused. This confusion was only heightened when a meter of some sort appeared in her vision, above Benny, as well as a little target sight, even as Benny randomly began to glow kind of purply, with endless supplies of razor-sharp eviction notices appearing in his hands.

Sora, Donald and Goofy, meanwhile, drew their weapons and immediately went to work on the crop of Heartless, which had just appeared. The threesome hacked their way through, darting around Angel to go after Benny, who was, as it turned out, a rather pathetic fighter, despite the ferocity of his Eviction Notice Slice, and the battle was soon over, even though Angel didn't much contribute.

But, done it was, so they got on the subway.

5 – Keyhole

The four walked from the subway to the community center place where the Life Support meeting was held, and they entered, Angel first, smiling at the group of people inside. She immediately went over to Collins and gave him a hug before turning to the others.

"Hey, there. Sorry I'm late! Got caught in, uh… traffic, but I met three new friends! They saved me from Benny, who seemed to have had too much to drink," she explained before taking her seat.

"No problem," said the leader. "We were just beginning the usual introductions, anyway. Shall we start again?"

"Steve"

"Gordon"

"Ally."

"Pam."

"Sue."

"Gordon."

"Hi! I'm Angel!" She pulled off her wing.

"OH MY GOD! SHE'S A GUY!" Sora's eyes were as wide as saucers.

Donald rubbed his face with his hand, exasperated by Sora's outburst, and Goofy just kind of laughed in his… weird way. "I'm Goofy, that's Donald and…_that's_ Sora," explained the talking dog as if this were all perfectly normal.

Rolling his eyes, Collins continued, "Tom… Collins."

"I'm Paul. Let's begin," said the leader with infinite patience.

The normal members of the Life Support group began: "There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss…"

And, as they sang together, a sudden glow appeared in the air in the midst of their circle, and from that glow appeared a keyhole. Sora, who was still staring at Angel, had to be hit over the head by Donald before he was paying enough attention to lock the stupid keyhole. And then, they left…

But, as they left, they nearly ran over a certain poor, confused and rather worried about his sanity film maker, who wound up tripping over one of the chairs in the community center, thus disrupting the gathering anew… And so, the circle of events kept right on going… (Minus Benny, of course.) With just one more world saved from certain destruction by rabid heartless. Hurrah, hurrah!

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END

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A/N: Rather dumb, I know… But please leave a review, anyway! Even if you found this to be the stupidest, most awful story you've ever read, I'd still like to hear from you! Thanks! 

Love, Snarky


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